Contador dejected by Armstrongs arrival leaves Astana, Both rejected by FresnOakland

Team sources report that both Lance Armstrong and Alberto Contador had requested to join the Beloved Northern California Based Squad of FresnOakland. An unamed source of FresnOakland cited the reason for rejecting both top atheletes as they required some structure to their teams, “They just really couldn’t grasp the concept of providing their own blank jersey at the first race of the season to spray paint”. Another official within the FresnOakland squad estimates that their homemade cookies “weren’t on par with Dave Green and could possibly alienate the FresnOakland image with the ladies at future Bay Area cyclocross events”.

Contador remains in talks with another bay area squad but thoughts are he will again be denied due to “lack of piercings, tattoos, and trendy messenger gear”.